When Mother's Day is Just A Day

 It's an odd feeling, really.

The day used to take up so much space in my life. There were plans to be made and coordinated. When my brother lived nearby he and his wife hosted both sets of parents for events like Mother's Day so I focused on bringing my part of the lunch.

And, of course finding the right gift and card.  

After my brother and sister-in-law moved out of state, the hosting duties became mine. I enjoyed planning the lunch. Cleaning the house to Geraldine standards? Not so much.

Odd that a day that took up so much space in my life is now just a day.

Maybe you know the feeling. Maybe your mom has died, or maybe dementia has steadily slipped her away from the life you shared together. And Sunday will be oddly empty.

For other women there's more pain than emptiness. It's the first year without your mom. Or the first year since the terrible reality became real to you, and you know that you will never have a son or daughter making macaroni jewelry (is that still a...

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When Your Mother's Day Is Empty: Getting through the day

"When's Mother's Day?" he asked me and I had to think. I wasn't sure.

It used to be a day circled on my calendar. I used to spend my time searching for the right present and cleaning the house and dreaming up a menu for lunch.

Now it slips up on me.

My mother is gone, this year marking nine years since we last celebrated Mother's Day. I have no children of my own. Nothing is circled on my calendar.

Maybe you know the feeling.

  • Your mom has died, either recently or a lifetime ago.
  • Or you never had the kind of mom you want to honor or can bring yourself to love.
  • Or you struggle with infertility and are tired of the questions about when you guys are going to get with the program and start your family.
  • Or you never had a chance to have children.
  • Or you lost a child before that child was born.
  • Or you lost a child after holding them in your arms.

If any of these things are true for you, Mother's Day can be tough. Here are some tips for navigating the holiday.

Number One and the Thing You...

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